








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 469 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,852 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7001 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7509 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5645 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5697 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,341,406 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | m2mmar | 49% | 299 |
| #8 | Namm | 49% | 108 |
| #9 | HTH | 47% | 85 |
| #10 | m2mm | 44% | 39 |
| #11 | Kalev Kranos | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sn1rkk | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | m2mmar | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Mart | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Namm | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | HTH | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sn1rkk | 1621 | 0.27 | 51 min |
| #2 | m2mmar | 547 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | who dis | 419 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | Namm | 402 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | sokram | 246 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w0lur | +1.17 | 75 | 72 |
| #2 | Mart | +0.86 | 78 | 57 |
| #3 | sokram | +0.67 | 70 | 72 |
| #4 | who dis | +0.58 | 59 | 66 |
| #5 | Namm | +0.01 | 73 | 59 |





