








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,166 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1073 | 34% |
| Smokes | 638 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 797 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 658 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $97,532 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 375 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TitanSocks | 18 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | I have no enemies | 14 | 0.0261 |
| #3 | “GodDid” | 2 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W1GLS | +3.96 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | I have no enemies | +1.91 | 67 | 30 |
| #3 | TitanSocks | -0.15 | 58 | 39 |
| #4 | TOBY | -3.93 | 29 | 53 |
| #5 | “GodDid” | -4.72 | 9 | 24 |





