










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,491 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1720 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1782 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1342 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1647 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $391,167 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeizy | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Scooby Jew | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | ⸸ pR | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Raasclaat | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | GRiP | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (tim) tim | 5 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | Jayko | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Scooby Jew | 2 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooby Jew | +6.18 | 69 | 52 |
| #2 | Jeizy | +4.74 | 71 | 63 |
| #3 | GRiP | +2.99 | 78 | 49 |
| #4 | Raasclaat | +2.69 | 77 | 62 |
| #5 | ⸸ pR | +2.17 | 76 | 33 |





