








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2355 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1306 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2132 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 821 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $793,129 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɪ'ᴍ ZeroTwo ゼロツー|002 | 84% | 25 |
| #2 | pendamen | 82% | 17 |
| #3 | Tosh | 74% | 109 |
| #4 | D0cC | 74% | 19 |
| #5 | kennakineki<3 | 69% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hecker | 726 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | Tosh | 609 | 0.28 | 18 min |
| #3 | H4X | 265 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #4 | kennakineki<3 | 128 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | ɪ'ᴍ ZeroTwo ゼロツー|002 | 104 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɪ'ᴍ ZeroTwo ゼロツー|002 | +4.85 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | kennakineki<3 | +4.68 | 80 | 51 |
| #3 | Tosh | +4.27 | 79 | 76 |
| #4 | D0cC | +4.01 | 96 | 29 |
| #5 | hecker | +1.55 | 86 | 46 |





