








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1037 | 21% |
| Smokes | 890 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 926 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1986 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,434,124 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D3VN | 82% | 22 |
| #2 | BJ Matt | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | jaer | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | ScrupulousSam | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | turbo tits | 49% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BJ Matt | 27 | 0.0320 |
| #2 | PerniciousSam | 24 | 0.0263 |
| #3 | jaer | 24 | 0.0339 |
| #4 | ScrupulousSam | 11 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | D3VN | 11 | 0.0266 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mick | 194 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | turbo tits | 182 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Cid | 132 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | PerniciousSam | 124 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | jaer | 116 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D3VN | +7.49 | 83 | 48 |
| #2 | PerniciousSam | +2.59 | 71 | 55 |
| #3 | jaer | +2.56 | 82 | 48 |
| #4 | BJ Matt | +2.47 | 63 | 46 |
| #5 | Mick | +0.40 | 39 | 55 |





