








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 586 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2852 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2183 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2557 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2592 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $498,793 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 585 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -maxDS- | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Young Dopperton the III | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | ZxP | 56% | 79 |
| #4 | Signal | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Enzo | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -maxDS- | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Young Dopperton the III | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | ZxP | 56% | 79 |
| #4 | Signal | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Enzo | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Signal | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZxP | 643 | 0.38 | 18 min |
| #2 | Signal | 114 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Enzo | 111 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | Young Dopperton the III | 105 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | -maxDS- | 100 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jsp | +2.95 | 93 | 61 |
| #2 | -maxDS- | +1.17 | 80 | 72 |
| #3 | Enzo | +0.87 | 76 | 63 |
| #4 | Signal | +0.82 | 80 | 68 |
| #5 | ZxP | +0.26 | 86 | 66 |





