








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 664 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 133 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1885 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 481 | 7% |
| Smokes | 1871 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2092 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2581 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $752,080 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1835 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puppy | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | justin. | 50% | 52 |
| #3 | Chef.Brokerd | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | Zadderall | 41% | 32 |
| #5 | Buck9874 | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Chef.Brokerd | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | Zadderall | 41% | 32 |
| #5 | Buck9874 | 40% | 52 |
| #6 | CHICKEN JOE | 38% | 47 |
| #7 | Junderscore | 37% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justin. | 14 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | Junderscore | 13 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Buck9874 | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Puppy | 5 | 0.0135 |
| #5 | CHICKEN JOE | 4 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Junderscore | 186 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | justin. | 57 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Zadderall | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Chef.Brokerd | 21 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | CHICKEN JOE | 18 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHICKEN JOE | +4.43 | 86 | 39 |
| #2 | justin. | +3.27 | 41 | 40 |
| #3 | Chef.Brokerd | +0.47 | 37 | 32 |
| #4 | Buck9874 | -0.53 | 53 | 18 |
| #5 | Junderscore | -0.71 | 44 | 61 |





