








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 945 matches | ||
| Wingman | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




104 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9803 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5626 | 44% |
| Smokes | 3407 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2247 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1380 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,853,203 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zerk | 56% | 70 |
| #2 | justin. | 50% | 119 |
| #3 | ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Princess ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ | 48% | 181 |
| #4 | Broppled | 45% | 129 |
| #5 | TehJoke | 45% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zerk | 56% | 70 |
| #2 | justin. | 50% | 119 |
| #3 | ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Princess ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ | 48% | 181 |
| #4 | Broppled | 45% | 129 |
| #5 | TehJoke | 45% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justin. | 18 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Princess ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Broppled | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Zerk | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | TehJoke | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broppled | 202 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | justin. | 159 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Zerk | 56 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | TehJoke | 49 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Princess ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ | 9 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zerk | +2.97 | 54 | 22 |
| #2 | Broppled | +2.52 | 90 | 42 |
| #3 | TehJoke | +2.46 | 41 | 35 |
| #4 | justin. | +1.97 | 45 | 42 |
| #5 | ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Princess ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ | +0.22 | 62 | 14 |





