








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 859 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 351 | 41% |
| Smokes | 134 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 334 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 40 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $95,413 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | deine Horde wirft Handtuch | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | PuRpLeX™ | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | KnoWii | 52% | 48 |
| #6 | Waifu Enjoyer | 50% | 26 |
| #7 | xR:_Yahuah_is_Savior | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KnoWii | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Waifu Enjoyer | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Gold Junge | 1 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KnoWii | 63 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Waifu Enjoyer | 52 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | deine Horde wirft Handtuch | 26 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #4 | xR:_Yahuah_is_Savior | 15 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | PuRpLeX™ | 11 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deine Horde wirft Handtuch | +5.41 | 89 | 67 |
| #2 | KnoWii | +3.09 | 67 | 46 |
| #3 | Gold Junge | +2.59 | 81 | 25 |
| #4 | Jesus Liftus | +0.13 | 66 | 55 |
| #5 | PuRpLeX™ | -0.46 | 71 | 78 |





