








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,512 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1171 | 33% |
| Smokes | 741 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 596 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1004 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $430,255 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aj2k | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Insanity | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | Beeast | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Ty | 55% | 56 |
| #5 | Heywood Jablowme | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Beeast | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Ty | 55% | 56 |
| #5 | Heywood Jablowme | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | Please Shoot Them | 49% | 68 |
| #7 | 1toomany | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Please Shoot Them | 18 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | Ty | 8 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Insanity | 7 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | Beeast | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Heywood Jablowme | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ty | 229 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | Please Shoot Them | 226 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | 1toomany | 93 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Insanity | 71 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Heywood Jablowme | 40 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beeast | +2.75 | 89 | 43 |
| #2 | Ty | +2.22 | 74 | 75 |
| #3 | 1toomany | +1.77 | 87 | 72 |
| #4 | aj2k | +1.72 | 82 | 48 |
| #5 | Lucky | -0.34 | 71 | 50 |





