








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 684 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 465 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10229 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7038 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 8286 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6856 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,291,992 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1660 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jim Lahey | 68% | 56 |
| #2 | camshaft | 59% | 64 |
| #3 | Ultima | 58% | 260 |
| #4 | cooter intruder | 56% | 310 |
| #5 | dal2n | 56% | 276 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ultima | 58% | 260 |
| #4 | cooter intruder | 56% | 310 |
| #5 | dal2n | 56% | 276 |
| #6 | Cobra | 54% | 63 |
| #7 | Philmore Boys | 50% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dal2n | 15 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | cooter intruder | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Ultima | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Cobra | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | camshaft | 5 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dal2n | 2005 | 0.35 | 54 min |
| #2 | cooter intruder | 1259 | 0.19 | 32 min |
| #3 | Ultima | 304 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | camshaft | 210 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Cobra | 131 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dal2n | +2.73 | 87 | 81 |
| #2 | Ultima | +1.25 | 91 | 53 |
| #3 | camshaft | +0.95 | 69 | 64 |
| #4 | Cobra | +0.91 | 89 | 46 |
| #5 | cooter intruder | +0.50 | 69 | 75 |





