








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Wingman | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1330 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2635 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2661 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2649 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,625,506 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1054 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | uwu_poddle | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | cY | 45% | 64 |
| #6 | zonk | 45% | 47 |
| #7 | CYKLER | 43% | 181 |
| #8 | erdig3456 | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schizzz | 245 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | CYKLER | 177 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | uwu_poddle | 119 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | cY | 75 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | erdig3456 | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |





