








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 753 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 349 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4978 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6969 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4709 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3343 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,247,674 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 590 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Bat | 58% | 124 |
| #2 | jic | 53% | 353 |
| #3 | wyld | 51% | 290 |
| #4 | Skipper | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | ur moms bunda | 39% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Bat | 58% | 124 |
| #2 | jic | 53% | 353 |
| #3 | wyld | 51% | 290 |
| #4 | Skipper | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | ur moms bunda | 39% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jic | 23 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | wyld | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | The Bat | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | ur moms bunda | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Skipper | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jic | 1636 | 0.22 | 47 min |
| #2 | wyld | 422 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #3 | The Bat | 368 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | ur moms bunda | 94 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Skipper | 12 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yaz | +2.14 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | jic | +1.36 | 58 | 70 |
| #3 | The Bat | -0.15 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | wyld | -0.93 | 65 | 59 |
| #5 | Skipper | -1.94 | 66 | 41 |





