








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 968 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3337 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3106 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3370 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2925 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,784,505 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 666 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jic | 53% | 281 |
| #2 | The Bat | 52% | 124 |
| #3 | Yaz | 51% | 290 |
| #4 | ur moms bunda | 37% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jic | 53% | 281 |
| #2 | The Bat | 52% | 124 |
| #3 | Yaz | 51% | 290 |
| #4 | ur moms bunda | 37% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yaz | 25 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | jic | 17 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ur moms bunda | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | The Bat | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jic | 1210 | 0.21 | 35 min |
| #2 | Yaz | 1189 | 0.20 | 36 min |
| #3 | The Bat | 354 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | ur moms bunda | 52 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yaz | +2.01 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | jic | +1.32 | 54 | 69 |
| #3 | The Bat | +0.24 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | wyld | -0.47 | 63 | 54 |
| #5 | ur moms bunda | -4.50 | 26 | 44 |





