








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
197 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 209 | 27% |
| Smokes | 78 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 272 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 219 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $83,488 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir_WaterBear | 38% | 8 |
| #2 | Flip | 36% | 33 |
| #3 | sogstar | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | raW🍊 | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | »Riordan272« | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | JohnnyLegless | 25% | 4 |
| #8 | GucciAchen | 25% | 8 |
| #9 | Jaxon ll | 20% | 5 |
| #10 | smithyyy | 20% | 5 |
| #11 | glebary | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flip | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Sir_WaterBear | 1 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | »Riordan272« | 1 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flip | 130 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Sir_WaterBear | 26 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | smithyyy | 25 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | »Riordan272« | 25 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✞ 𝕷𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖍 ✞ | 11 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raW🍊 | +2.83 | 64 | 66 |
| #2 | Sir_WaterBear | +2.81 | 83 | 76 |
| #3 | Jaxon ll | +2.44 | 59 | 36 |
| #4 | Flip | +1.20 | 62 | 68 |
| #5 | smithyyy | +0.99 | 75 | 74 |





