








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 441 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,457 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6059 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4087 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5707 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5604 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,527,269 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 685 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eXILED™ | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | Avox | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | Festus | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | MadlyInAnger | 48% | 79 |
| #5 | Grom | 48% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avox | +1.14 | 71 | 68 |
| #2 | Festus | +0.96 | 71 | 67 |
| #3 | Dirt | +0.77 | 84 | 63 |
| #4 | Bubbles ♡ | +0.27 | 76 | 68 |
| #5 | Butters | -0.29 | 67 | 55 |





