










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1053 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1718 | 34% |
| Smokes | 650 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1581 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1051 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $476,588 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floppa | 50% | 129 |
| #2 | Spreet | 49% | 45 |
| #3 | HONK | 46% | 56 |
| #4 | le kainri IX : Disastrous Life | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | THE BOSS | 42% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Spreet | 49% | 45 |
| #3 | HONK | 46% | 56 |
| #4 | le kainri IX : Disastrous Life | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | THE BOSS | 42% | 85 |
| #6 | Satanyah | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Satanyah | 21 | 0.0208 |
| #2 | HONK | 15 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | Floppa | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | THE BOSS | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Spreet | 5 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HONK | 165 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Floppa | 136 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | THE BOSS | 126 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Spreet | 67 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Satanyah | 60 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bounty_ | +3.04 | 45 | 49 |
| #2 | Satanyah | +2.48 | 43 | 45 |
| #3 | Spreet | +2.40 | 63 | 57 |
| #4 | HONK | -2.12 | 26 | 50 |
| #5 | Floppa | -2.31 | 34 | 38 |





