








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,829 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4988 | 46% |
| Smokes | 2787 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 748 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 2306 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $908,597 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lar | 66% | 85 |
| #2 | insanii | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | ☯ ZenithTGO | 62% | 101 |
| #4 | floppy^ | 60% | 156 |
| #5 | AlphA | 58% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | floppy^ | 21 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | lar | 11 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | headless | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | zzips | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | ☯ ZenithTGO | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | floppy^ | 523 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | lar | 383 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | headless | 339 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | ☯ ZenithTGO | 240 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | zzips | 155 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayeeh^ | +2.94 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | ☯ ZenithTGO | +2.00 | 87 | 71 |
| #3 | AlphA | +1.25 | 77 | 51 |
| #4 | floppy^ | +1.15 | 88 | 57 |
| #5 | lar | +0.79 | 81 | 65 |





