








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 987 | 34% |
| Smokes | 848 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 378 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 686 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $225,087 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diamondback | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Render | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | WAV3S | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | ZombiebaconII | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | NoSoxs | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZombiebaconII | 2 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | NoSoxs | 2 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Vismo | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Gugo2k | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Puppy Cait | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burnt-iwnl- | 194 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #2 | jmac | 67 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | DJ01 | 67 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gugo2k | 64 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | runner | 57 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Argo :3 | +3.70 | 79 | 46 |
| #2 | LaFridgeK | +3.02 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | Puppy Cait | +1.74 | 55 | 51 |
| #4 | ZombiebaconII | +1.52 | 78 | 56 |
| #5 | DJ01 | +1.52 | 80 | 66 |





