








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,637 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1054 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1065 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 815 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 703 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $180,165 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Antony | 41% | 102 |
| #4 | Reece | 39% | 119 |
| #5 | Kata_91 | 37% | 107 |
| #6 | red! | 36% | 14 |
| #7 | Snout | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAKE HOYLE | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Kata_91 | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Reece | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Antony | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | red! | 3 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | red! | +3.03 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | Reece | +2.16 | 81 | 50 |
| #3 | JAKE HOYLE | +2.16 | 74 | 57 |
| #4 | Antony | +0.62 | 71 | 50 |
| #5 | Snout | -0.79 | 60 | 45 |





