








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 838 | 9% |
| Smokes | 3296 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2879 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2256 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $836,365 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | JAKE HOYLE | 47% | 125 |
| #11 | paNic | 47% | 32 |
| #12 | Kata_91 | 47% | 79 |
| #13 | Reece | 45% | 87 |
| #14 | rhyskj08 | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jillie Bean | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | JAKE HOYLE | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Reece | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Antony | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Kata_91 | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAKE HOYLE | 309 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Antony | 217 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Reece | 141 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Drakkarn | 135 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jillie Bean | 112 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mrlawnmowerdeth | +5.04 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | Jillie Bean | +3.08 | 84 | 47 |
| #3 | Laddergod Dave | +3.04 | 82 | 54 |
| #4 | Reece | +2.00 | 81 | 51 |
| #5 | JAKE HOYLE | +2.00 | 72 | 58 |





