








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1002 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 559 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 213 matches | ||
| Wingman | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




163 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9332 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9625 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4917 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 6619 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5506 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,362,745 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 735 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baby fish | 56% | 88 |
| #2 | Soky | 55% | 60 |
| #3 | lolmy | 50% | 443 |
| #4 | kakavko04_ | 50% | 221 |
| #5 | Jmax | 27% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baby fish | 56% | 88 |
| #2 | Soky | 55% | 60 |
| #3 | lolmy | 50% | 443 |
| #4 | kakavko04_ | 50% | 221 |
| #5 | Jmax | 27% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolmy | 41 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Jmax | 14 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | kakavko04_ | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Soky | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Baby fish | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolmy | 2294 | 0.25 | 60 min |
| #2 | Soky | 259 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | Jmax | 161 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Baby fish | 104 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | kakavko04_ | 9 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soky | +2.11 | 78 | 81 |
| #2 | lolmy | +1.47 | 61 | 72 |
| #3 | Propaldy | +1.31 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | Baby fish | +0.62 | 76 | 65 |
| #5 | Jmax | -2.24 | 69 | 58 |





