








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 672 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 413 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3803 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4099 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4514 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3913 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,346,324 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 517 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sant-tu | 51% | 533 |
| #3 | Mehu-Janne | 49% | 309 |
| #4 | Santzhez | 45% | 299 |
| #5 | spuge2 | 41% | 68 |
| #6 | Sak-ke | 26% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sant-tu | 31 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Mehu-Janne | 15 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Santzhez | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | spuge2 | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Sak-ke | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sant-tu | 844 | 0.08 | 22 min |
| #2 | Santzhez | 423 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | Mehu-Janne | 193 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #4 | Sak-ke | 63 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | spuge2 | 30 | 0.02 | 0 min |





