








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 231 | 10% |
| Smokes | 590 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1048 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 527 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $876,374 of utility $299 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doug | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | NiccB | 80% | 20 |
| #3 | Goose | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | GameyGamer258 | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | +Hvnter | 56% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drew_- | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | cOLE | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | hayden_christensen | 2 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | +Hvnter | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | NiccB | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drew_- | 104 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | cOLE | 82 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | NiccB | 62 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | +Hvnter | 57 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Psiferlock | 22 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cOLE | +2.42 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | +Hvnter | +2.06 | 79 | 48 |
| #3 | NiccB | +1.94 | 58 | 61 |
| #4 | .iwnl.BindeR | +1.01 | 68 | 39 |
| #5 | Doug | +0.79 | 79 | 63 |





