








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 742 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 473 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9129 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7182 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 9986 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7667 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,048,905 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Tacocorp | 56% | 301 |
| #9 | Zenomac | 55% | 106 |
| #10 | FortuneTellerBaBA | 54% | 56 |
| #11 | Sims | 52% | 56 |
| #12 | til woods | 50% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Littlemaster | 27 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | M. | 15 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Pablo | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Tacocorp | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Yikes' | 5 | 0.0013 |





