








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 614 matches | ||
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7607 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7370 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7770 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7182 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,745,339 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | COOCHIE MANE | 56% | 70 |
| #10 | FortuneTellerBaBA | 55% | 47 |
| #11 | Littlemaster | 55% | 243 |
| #12 | Yikes' | 54% | 160 |
| #13 | til woods | 52% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Littlemaster | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | E-1 | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Pablo | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Tacocorp | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Yikes' | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Littlemaster | 1723 | 0.35 | 51 min |
| #2 | Yikes' | 1080 | 0.34 | 27 min |
| #3 | E-1 | 609 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | til woods | 406 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | pHATe | 381 | 0.34 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E-1 | +3.65 | 75 | 73 |
| #2 | COOCHIE MANE | +2.53 | 78 | 50 |
| #3 | M. | +2.15 | 56 | 62 |
| #4 | Littlemaster | +2.00 | 57 | 80 |
| #5 | Yikes' | +1.77 | 84 | 71 |





