








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
660 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,838 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 672 | 37% |
| Smokes | 424 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 337 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 405 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $142,900 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrXylias | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Herbus Doubledoor | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | ImDeSTru | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | sp4re- | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | zen | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Herbus Doubledoor | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | ImDeSTru | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | sp4re- | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | zen | 51% | 37 |
| #6 | biorn1ke | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zen | 9 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | ImDeSTru | 5 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Herbus Doubledoor | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zen | 97 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Herbus Doubledoor | 50 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | ImDeSTru | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | sp4re- | 26 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | MrXylias | 17 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herbus Doubledoor | +5.04 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | Aimtoo | +1.65 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | sp4re- | -0.12 | 80 | 76 |
| #4 | MrXylias | -0.41 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | ImDeSTru | -0.43 | 77 | 41 |





