








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 340 matches | ||
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Wingman | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 190 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15808 | 37% |
| Smokes | 10458 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5732 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 10562 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,279,526 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 127mjb | 62% | 63 |
| #2 | Chamberz | 59% | 80 |
| #3 | NotAlex | 58% | 59 |
| #4 | Jiriiki | 55% | 83 |
| #5 | nectar of the gods | 55% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | nectar of the gods | 55% | 132 |
| #6 | Aitch | 54% | 326 |
| #7 | fittah | 53% | 99 |
| #8 | AWPduhm1 | 50% | 217 |
| #9 | E-Girl Bathwater | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nectar of the gods | 43 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | Aitch | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | AWPduhm1 | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | NotAlex | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Chamberz | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aitch | 1049 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #2 | Chamberz | 357 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | nectar of the gods | 235 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | fittah | 188 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | NotAlex | 159 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jard | +3.37 | 86 | 79 |
| #2 | Chamberz | +1.74 | 80 | 61 |
| #3 | nectar of the gods | +1.48 | 74 | 50 |
| #4 | 127mjb | -0.20 | 66 | 53 |
| #5 | fittah | -0.38 | 82 | 64 |





