








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1036 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 281 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5180 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3854 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4392 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4714 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,261,879 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E-Girl Bathwater | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | Jard | 54% | 326 |
| #3 | NotAlex | 53% | 80 |
| #4 | nectar of the gods | 51% | 55 |
| #5 | AWPduhm1 | 50% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E-Girl Bathwater | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | Jard | 54% | 326 |
| #3 | NotAlex | 53% | 80 |
| #4 | nectar of the gods | 51% | 55 |
| #5 | AWPduhm1 | 50% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jard | 15 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | nectar of the gods | 15 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | AWPduhm1 | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | NotAlex | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | E-Girl Bathwater | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jard | 2092 | 0.31 | 67 min |
| #2 | NotAlex | 259 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | AWPduhm1 | 184 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | nectar of the gods | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | E-Girl Bathwater | 66 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jard | +3.57 | 85 | 83 |
| #2 | nectar of the gods | +0.53 | 77 | 44 |
| #3 | Aitch | +0.22 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | NotAlex | -1.32 | 64 | 55 |
| #5 | AWPduhm1 | -1.37 | 54 | 40 |





