








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 473 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




177 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2340 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3174 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6392 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 4156 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,333,856 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuRDoK | 58% | 59 |
| #2 | DocX | 53% | 85 |
| #3 | oshii | 52% | 108 |
| #4 | McToasty | 40% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuRDoK | 58% | 59 |
| #2 | DocX | 53% | 85 |
| #3 | oshii | 52% | 108 |
| #4 | McToasty | 40% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DocX | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | MuRDoK | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | McToasty | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | oshii | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DocX | 389 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | McToasty | 184 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | oshii | 142 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | MuRDoK | 117 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DocX | +1.83 | 49 | 61 |
| #2 | MuRDoK | +1.74 | 84 | 59 |
| #3 | McToasty | +0.97 | 48 | 65 |
| #4 | oshii | +0.28 | 53 | 43 |
| #5 | Nadez | +0.11 | 70 | 46 |





