








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1009 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 288 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3942 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1602 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1289 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 3585 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 2203 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,774,903 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phrank | 54% | 153 |
| #2 | trek | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | Odah | 51% | 124 |
| #4 | Shoga | 49% | 235 |
| #5 | Sluappy | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Shoga | 49% | 235 |
| #5 | Sluappy | 47% | 55 |
| #6 | Maréchal | 45% | 22 |
| #7 | Klimza | 43% | 28 |
| #8 | 5hogst3r | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klimza | 14 | 0.0233 |
| #2 | Shoga | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Odah | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Phrank | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Sluappy | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoga | 1020 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #2 | Odah | 461 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | Phrank | 177 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Sluappy | 107 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Maréchal | 103 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Odah | +2.28 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | trek | +1.67 | 65 | 58 |
| #3 | yeldon | +0.72 | 76 | 52 |
| #4 | Maréchal | +0.44 | 59 | 58 |
| #5 | 5hogst3r | -0.01 | 47 | 59 |





