










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 848 | 20% |
| Smokes | 721 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2072 | 49% |
| Molotovs | 624 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $937,516 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 371 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maréchal | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | yeldon | 54% | 153 |
| #3 | trek | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | Odah | 50% | 72 |
| #5 | Sluappy | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeldon | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Shoga | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Klimza | 6 | 0.0233 |
| #4 | Odah | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Sluappy | 3 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoga | 583 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | Odah | 285 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | yeldon | 161 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Maréchal | 65 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sluappy | 61 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Odah | +2.21 | 73 | 62 |
| #2 | yeldon | +1.28 | 76 | 51 |
| #3 | trek | +0.96 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | Maréchal | +0.44 | 65 | 58 |
| #5 | Shoga | +0.03 | 45 | 60 |





