








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 166 | 38% |
| Smokes | 139 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 120 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 11 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $204,542 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | cadestewie | 39% | 31 |
| #8 | Jakers | 33% | 61 |
| #9 | TanMandarin | 31% | 13 |
| #10 | Tyger | 28% | 50 |
| #11 | Ricky | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EvanThaBeast | +7.23 | 81 | 43 |
| #2 | ♿MELLOW MIKE﷽ ﷽ ﷽﷽﷽ ﷽﷽﷽ ﷽﷽﷽ | +2.54 | 68 | 24 |
| #3 | Jakers | +2.07 | 58 | 16 |
| #4 | DuffMcWhalen | +1.80 | 50 | 21 |
| #5 | West Korea | +1.49 | 67 | 44 |





