








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 995 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1201 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 641 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1019 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $208,393 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 44% | 45 | ||
| #2 | BOT Scheme | 41% | 39 |
| #3 | Kota706 | 35% | 125 |
| #4 | Skrungus | 34% | 88 |
| #5 | Mr. President | 30% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anything? | 10 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Skrungus | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Kota706 | 6 | 0.0022 |
| 5 | 0.0051 | ||
| #5 | Mr. President | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. President | 291 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| 190 | 0.19 | 4 min | ||
| #3 | Skrungus | 177 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kota706 | 115 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | BOT Scheme | 101 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| +3.27 | 54 | 64 | ||
| #2 | Mr. President | +1.90 | 49 | 64 |
| #3 | Rev | +1.67 | 49 | 59 |
| #4 | Kota706 | +1.18 | 73 | 43 |
| #5 | anything? | -1.24 | 22 | 27 |





