








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 205 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,967 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4367 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3204 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2462 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2934 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $537,337 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marklovinn | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Brownie | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | john | 60% | 108 |
| #4 | mcDEAZY | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | NETBANGER | 53% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marklovinn | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Brownie | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | john | 60% | 108 |
| #4 | mcDEAZY | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | NETBANGER | 53% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marklovinn | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | john | 584 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | NETBANGER | 473 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | marklovinn | 148 | 0.42 | 4 min |
| #4 | mcDEAZY | 80 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Brownie | 47 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mcDEAZY | +1.73 | 65 | 72 |
| #2 | Audemars Piguet Prox | +1.65 | 55 | 68 |
| #3 | john | +0.78 | 66 | 77 |
| #4 | Brownie | -0.12 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | marklovinn | -0.41 | 56 | 70 |





