








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 415 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2143 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 418 | 19% |
| Smokes | 568 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 606 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 579 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,268 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Repose | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | holycow | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | -Sainted- | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | Sunxer | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | Valid | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Valid | 43% | 14 |
| #6 | RAM | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | Lax | 40% | 15 |
| #8 | Starlene | 36% | 28 |
| #9 | Timberlambs | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holycow | 4 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | RAM | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | -Sainted- | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Timberlambs | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Sainted- | 241 | 0.32 | 6 min |
| #2 | Starlene | 130 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | Timberlambs | 119 | 0.32 | 3 min |
| #4 | holycow | 106 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #5 | Repose | 80 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Repose | +2.92 | 67 | 63 |
| #2 | Sunxer | +2.17 | 57 | 55 |
| #3 | Timberlambs | +1.78 | 69 | 66 |
| #4 | -Sainted- | +1.31 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | holycow | +0.65 | 55 | 66 |





