








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 872 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1161 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1224 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 964 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $419,826 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Aaron | 41% | 32 |
| #8 | Defalt | 40% | 10 |
| #9 | ㅇㅅㅇ | 39% | 33 |
| #10 | Breezyyリ | 38% | 47 |
| #11 | Raider | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | herzeleid | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Aaron | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | BIG MUSCLES | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Defalt | 2 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | Lure | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | herzeleid | 452 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #2 | Breezyyリ | 179 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Aaron | 95 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lure | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | BIG MUSCLES | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |





