








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
796 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,226 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 587 | 26% |
| Smokes | 485 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 723 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 431 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,808 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ㅇㅅㅇ | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | Lure | 38% | 39 |
| #3 | BIG MUSCLES | 37% | 49 |
| #4 | herzeleid | 36% | 42 |
| #5 | ihatemylifeeee | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | herzeleid | 36% | 42 |
| #5 | ihatemylifeeee | 35% | 34 |
| #6 | daytona_ | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | Breezyyリ | 30% | 10 |
| #8 | Aaron | 18% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIG MUSCLES | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | ihatemylifeeee | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | herzeleid | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Lure | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Aaron | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | herzeleid | 203 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | Lure | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | BIG MUSCLES | 71 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Aaron | 65 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | ihatemylifeeee | 60 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daytona_ | +5.13 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | herzeleid | +4.00 | 89 | 75 |
| #3 | Breezyyリ | +1.40 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | ㅇㅅㅇ | -0.22 | 82 | 42 |
| #5 | Lure | -0.95 | 66 | 60 |





