










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,973 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 918 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1185 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 851 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1019 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $106,641 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | window | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Cousley | 63% | 40 |
| #3 | Misfire | 62% | 60 |
| #4 | Josh | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | St1cky | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Misfire | 62% | 60 |
| #4 | Josh | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | St1cky | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | clarity | 53% | 45 |
| #7 | Hoshik | 53% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoshik | 14 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Misfire | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | clarity | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Cousley | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoshik | 370 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | clarity | 122 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Misfire | 50 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | window | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cousley | 27 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Getsu | +3.00 | 87 | 46 |
| #2 | Hoshik | +2.23 | 90 | 56 |
| #3 | St1cky | +0.02 | 71 | 77 |
| #4 | Josh | -0.13 | 64 | 47 |
| #5 | Cousley | -0.20 | 73 | 29 |





