








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4055 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4629 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2458 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4003 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,190,468 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 384 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tramel | 77% | 31 |
| #2 | sugma | 71% | 72 |
| #3 | Karza | 70% | 30 |
| #4 | PWNDe | 69% | 243 |
| #5 | Dingrz | 68% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Jelly | 52 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | PWNDe | 23 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | ppman | 11 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | mbr | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | sugma | 6 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Jelly | 1443 | 0.24 | 42 min |
| #2 | ppman | 722 | 0.29 | 17 min |
| #3 | PWNDe | 405 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | sugma | 262 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | mbr | 260 | 0.09 | 6 min |





