








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2324 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4169 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2454 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2018 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2086 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,914 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'zNiido` | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | MX3 | 62% | 129 |
| #3 | PWNDe | 62% | 147 |
| #4 | Lil Jelly | 60% | 139 |
| #5 | sugma | 60% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | PWNDe | 62% | 147 |
| #4 | Lil Jelly | 60% | 139 |
| #5 | sugma | 60% | 107 |
| #6 | mbr | 58% | 31 |
| #7 | Flash | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Jelly | 30 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | MX3 | 16 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | PWNDe | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | sugma | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | mbr | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Jelly | 676 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #2 | MX3 | 424 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | sugma | 407 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #4 | PWNDe | 238 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | mbr | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MX3 | +2.71 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | PWNDe | +1.88 | 80 | 57 |
| #3 | sugma | +1.71 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | Lil Jelly | +1.60 | 82 | 67 |
| #5 | 'zNiido` | +1.07 | 88 | 67 |





