








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2587 | 58% |
| Smokes | 977 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 620 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 289 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $392,063 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan Carter | 45% | 184 |
| #2 | nish | 34% | 29 |
| #3 | Giana Jinx | 8% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan Carter | 45% | 184 |
| #2 | nish | 34% | 29 |
| #3 | Giana Jinx | 8% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan Carter | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | nish | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan Carter | 499 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | nish | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Giana Jinx | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan Carter | +4.42 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | nish | -1.78 | 42 | 42 |
| #3 | BBjjd | -2.79 | 50 | 49 |
| #4 | Giana Jinx | -6.46 | 19 | 30 |





