








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,716 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 582 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1564 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 681 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 889 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,319,127 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beanboy9000 | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | C0MR4D3 | 50% | 48 |
| #3 | munkles | 50% | 52 |
| #4 | jeremydrums | 49% | 98 |
| #5 | ethan | 46% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Derpina | 44% | 43 |
| #7 | Collins | 44% | 68 |
| #8 | Soup | 43% | 14 |
| #9 | Antarctic | 33% | 15 |
| #10 | Schlobajop | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Collins | 31 | 0.0220 |
| #2 | munkles | 9 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Derpina | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | ethan | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | C0MR4D3 | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeremydrums | 275 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Collins | 158 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | munkles | 146 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Soup | 68 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Antarctic | 37 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antarctic | +3.34 | 38 | 37 |
| #2 | C0MR4D3 | +1.96 | 43 | 46 |
| #3 | munkles | +1.73 | 64 | 64 |
| #4 | DailyKaylee | +0.82 | 60 | 33 |
| #5 | beanboy9000 | -0.08 | 48 | 32 |





