








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 994 | 32% |
| Smokes | 776 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 726 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 589 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,780 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | type4k | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | terps | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | ✪ ramZo | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | mayonesa | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | trob | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✪ ramZo | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | mayonesa | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | trob | 47% | 30 |
| #6 | coon | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | n4i | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ ramZo | 19 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | mayonesa | 3 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | n4i | 3 | 0.0259 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ ramZo | 209 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | trob | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | mayonesa | 30 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | n4i | 18 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | coon | 17 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | type4k | +7.68 | 93 | 77 |
| #2 | terps | +3.91 | 85 | 15 |
| #3 | ✪ ramZo | +0.93 | 80 | 56 |
| #4 | Pzi | -0.58 | 81 | 54 |
| #5 | n4i | -0.70 | 57 | 51 |





