








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1699 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1496 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1716 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1577 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $701,953 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 311 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pzi | 51% | 73 |
| #2 | type4k | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | mayonesa | 48% | 48 |
| #4 | trob | 43% | 51 |
| #5 | terps | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | CEO | 33% | 12 |
| #8 | hash rosin 90u | 33% | 12 |
| #9 | Puma | 31% | 13 |
| #10 | ismokefent | 25% | 12 |
| #11 | n4i | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pzi | 12 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | coon | 6 | 0.0140 |
| #3 | mayonesa | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | n4i | 3 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | ismokefent | 3 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pzi | 206 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | mayonesa | 107 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | trob | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | coon | 53 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | n4i | 45 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | type4k | +4.85 | 89 | 74 |
| #2 | terps | +2.63 | 75 | 16 |
| #3 | ✪ ramZo | +1.31 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | Pzi | -0.42 | 84 | 54 |
| #5 | mayonesa | -0.64 | 62 | 56 |





