








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,835 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 476 | 24% |
| Smokes | 387 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 533 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 582 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $333,992 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | creekman | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Mr Meowcrew | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | ✪VanDuuren | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Bant | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | SuckYaMadda | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mr Meowcrew | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | ✪VanDuuren | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Bant | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | SuckYaMadda | 44% | 9 |
| #6 | WRM | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bant | 5 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bant | 111 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | SuckYaMadda | 30 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪VanDuuren | 24 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | creekman | 21 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | WRM | 19 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | creekman | +1.99 | 62 | 65 |
| #2 | abbe | +1.46 | 86 | 60 |
| #3 | WRM | +1.26 | 52 | 50 |
| #4 | SuckYaMadda | -0.69 | 88 | 52 |
| #5 | Bant | -1.28 | 56 | 56 |





