








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 479 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 394 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2385 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2498 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4781 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 2352 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,041,577 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McBacon'd | 51% | 135 |
| #2 | daddy issues | 51% | 85 |
| #3 | J_dub | 49% | 55 |
| #4 | diALeD_iN | 49% | 192 |
| #5 | toaster oven | 48% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daddy issues | +2.58 | 58 | 66 |
| #2 | Dirty Dan | +2.01 | 61 | 66 |
| #3 | bangbang | +1.92 | 39 | 71 |
| #4 | bangbang | +1.45 | 46 | 72 |
| #5 | CHRIST | +0.63 | 44 | 47 |





