








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 916 | 26% |
| Smokes | 882 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 682 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1085 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,499 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Popcorn | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | mulligan | 75% | 24 |
| #3 | Darian | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | COMRADSNIPER | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | Margoi | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | seb | 27% | 15 |
| #17 | alcaponed | 27% | 15 |
| #18 | sleepy | 27% | 15 |
| #19 | mattgotpasion | 20% | 5 |
| #20 | Blake | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | typhl0sion | 118 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | sleepy | 102 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #3 | jakk | 89 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | mulligan | 88 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ραίμε | 82 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dagger | +3.69 | 69 | 69 |
| #2 | Grimmy | +2.53 | 63 | 53 |
| #3 | mulligan | +1.45 | 78 | 72 |
| #4 | COMRADSNIPER | +0.66 | 63 | 34 |
| #5 | Talon | +0.61 | 78 | 59 |





