








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1025 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Faceit | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2513 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2880 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1599 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2334 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,311,585 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 643 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | core9 | 49% | 101 |
| #9 | jWreckLess | 48% | 48 |
| #10 | Chup_aa | 47% | 36 |
| #11 | TheDyl | 45% | 88 |
| #12 | ReeceMario100 | 42% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seeker | 985 | 0.14 | 28 min |
| #2 | talktuahpodcast | 485 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | TheDyl | 292 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Shmylife | 285 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | core9 | 231 | 0.10 | 7 min |





