








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 342 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 351 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 330 | 15% |
| Smokes | 452 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1167 | 52% |
| Molotovs | 305 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,062,300 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'tktz_ | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | Bear | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | HungryM4x | 55% | 73 |
| #4 | Desrovety | 54% | 93 |
| #5 | M$@! | 54% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Desrovety | 19 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | DerJanz | 16 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | HungryM4x | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | BNZ | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | M$@! | 7 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerJanz | 467 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | BNZ | 176 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | mercuryclixx | 156 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Desrovety | 132 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | M$@! | 117 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M$@! | +2.42 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | MAXINES EIER ZITTERN!!!! | +1.89 | 78 | 23 |
| #3 | BNZ | +0.36 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | mercuryclixx | -0.05 | 71 | 51 |
| #5 | 'tktz_ | -0.34 | 44 | 28 |





